Updated: Jul 11
EMBELLISHING FROM THE RED TABLE TALK WITH JADA PINKETT-SMITH AND GABRIELLE UNION, IT'S TIME TO TALK ABOUT WHAT REALLY KEEPS US WOMEN CATTY AND PETTY RATHER THAN UNITING AND BUILDING.
We’re in a place where the unjust are finally feeling like unjust doesn’t prosper and the opposition finally gets their just due. The movement where “me too” is the sounding alarm for the vigilantes to put on their capes and persecute the deplorable men. I see the pussy hats and the solidarity of women; the banshee of women empowerment and doing it for the women rings like a liberty bell and gives you the feel goods of a super hero. However, as I stroll down my timeline it’s a whole different tone and when I go to networks and gathering I just don’t get that feel good anymore. The unity slowly fades in the background like a foreshadow in a novel that’s been revealed. It’s all about sisterhood you say but I’m feeling more like it’s a episode from Big Brother because there’s more competiveness than support. It’s more clicks than there is a sisterhood. It’s more discouragement than there is motivation. But why??
As a black woman I feel like we are crossed with all sorts of adversity from racism to misogyny and sometimes both at the same time. So the last thing we need is disharmony among each other. We speak about a sisterhood but how often have you disliked your fellow sister but didn’t necessarily have a reason? How often have you felt that someone was a little distant or dismissive of you and you didn’t know this woman from a can of paint? It just goes to show that this tone has taken the place of being the normalcy among us. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not all saying that every black woman you encounter has to be your bestie or you have to forcibly have a friendship with, but what do you have to lose to give respect and props when due? Why are we always trying to find a way to one up each other but not willing to celebrate each other? I don’t have to be your friend to be inspired by your act of kindness, or how you travel the world or how you’re a self entrepreneur. We have too many obstacles to have to add one another as one.
Watching Jada and Gabrielle Union on Red Table Talk was quite refreshing because I got to see two successful black women put their problems aside and embrace each other. Not to mention that they had a feud for years with each other that we never even knew about, and how telling is that? But what was extremely revealing is how Gabrielle gave insight on the root of this problem among us by becoming transparent of her own inner issues. Gabrielle was at a place in her life when she was ending a failed marriage and wasn’t really happy at where she was in life when she realized that her not having the love for her fellow sister came from not having the love for herself? WOW, that was an eye opener! Not that I didn’t know this already but it was someone else who felt the same way.
If you can recall me writing about friends on social media who don’t like me but still follow me despite the fact. You may also realize that I didn’t mention me deleting them either, which would seem like the logical thing to do, right? However, I’ve had a lot of growing to do and trust if I was the old me I definitely would; but I’m able to see past the petty and see the inspiration. And if anyone knows me, then they know I only follow people who inspire and motivate me. So I’ve come to realize that I can learn from each of my sisters, whether we’re the closes or not, because that’s what sisterhood and women empowerment is really about. It’s not about having clicks, being competitive, jealous or petty. It’s about knowing that each sister that crosses your path may have something to teach you. It’s about loving yourself enough to know that her success doesn’t diminish your success. It’s about respecting one another despite your personal resentments and vendettas.
So at the end of the day, before you frown your nose, cut your eyes, or feel “some type of way” about your fellow sister how about take the time to know her. Or you could do some self reflecting to make sure that you’re now projecting your own insecurity onto that sister. Or maybe try some empathy to know where that sister maybe coming from. We are a village and we do need each other and sometimes it may come from someone you least expect. Have you ever been jealous or felt insecure in another sister’s presence? Have you ever felt the cold shoulders from a fellow sister and didn’t know why? Comment below